DEALING WITH AGING PARENTS, ARE YOU PREPARED?

Aging parents is something we don't talk about enough with each other, sharing our experiences. We all know it is coming and intellectually understand what may happen but it is not the same as experiencing it on a daily basis. Many of you have already been through aging parents or loss of a parent or are dealing with it now and have lots of wisdom to offer. Trust me, I would love to hear from you! I am far from an expert as I have only really just begun this journey of caring for an aging parent that is not in good health and will not get better, but wow, what an eye opener. So many emotions are involved and important decisions to be made. All of which are equally important. So, what have I learned so far, let's see if I can even put it into words.

First of all I have learned to remember all the things my parents have done for me all my life and sacrifices that they made on mine and my sister's behalf--they were numerous. Now, it is my turn to do the same in terms of my time and finances just has they did for me growing up. I have always heard "that time is coming" and I have seen my parents take care of their parents but it is not the same as experiencing it for yourself.

I have also learned that mental, emotional and physical exhaustion are a natural part of this process. It doesn't feel good by any means but, you do what you have to do and rest later. I am guessing my parents felt that along the way, too, when raising me. They didn't give up but hung in there. That is my job now with them. When the going gets tough, the tough better get going or something can go wrong quickly!

Thirdly, I have learned that no matter how hard you try, you can't be prepared for all the curves the illness of aging parents throw your way. I say this mainly for those who have not been through this scenario yet, to pay attention and give this a lot of thought before it happens. Are you prepared financially, do you know what your parents wishes are, are you and your siblings and other parent all on the same page about long-term care or even short-term care? If you don't know, then guess what, it is time to think and talk about it.

We need to talk about this more with each other and encourage our younger friends to pay attention as we go through it to help them better understand what they may face one day. You can never be totally prepared and you can't live in fear BUT you can gain as much knowledge as you can about the subject and have those family conversations. It isn't pretty, but yet a very real and natural part of life. I know I want to make it as easy on my parents as possible and still survive to tell the story. We all will survuve it, we aren't the first to have this experience and certainly will not be the last. The question becomes how can we survive this in our particular situation. No two situations will ever be the same but we can at least provide support to our friends as they go through this.

My guess is this is part one of my Aging Parents blogs. I am so thankful for good friends, their love concern and prayers. This is all in God's timing, we are just "managers" of that time with His guidance while we are here. I would love to hear from others about your experiences and any words of wisdon you have on this topic. Stay tuned!

It's 2:00 A.M.! Anyone Else Still Awake????

Okay, what happened to the days when I could sleep until noon the next day or at least 10:00 without any problem? Seems now my body just loves the early morning hours. When I was working, you couldn't hardly drag me out of bed. Now that I am not working, I am up and ready to go at ridiculous times!!! Anyone else having or experiencing this issue? And yes, I do have sleeping pills--obviously something a little stronger may be required!!! If the gym were open now (and not on fire!!) Icould at least go work out. I have tons of energy right now!! Oh the irony!!!

What does everyone else do that can't sleep and you are awake this time of the morning? I do hear it is part of getting older! Don't you just love when people say that---even if it is true!! I am thankful for good health so far so a little insomnia isn't really such a bad thing. Our dog was sleeping inside but I annoyed her enough she chose to go outside in the cold rather than stay in with me wandering around the house!!

Well, if there are any other insomniacs out there, let me know what you do when you wake up or any solutions you have to this lovely issue. If I don't hear from you, guess what, you are hopefully sleeping and have no need to reply!! Good for you!!!

Good Morning!!!!

ABOUT BECKY

It is hard to believe Becky has been gone for over three years now. I still miss her every day. I miss calling her and having her answer the phone and me getting to say "Hey Sol" to have her respond "Hey Kim!" I think we all thought if anyone could beat cancer it would be her. She did for 14 years. Wow. There were so many signs and seemingly promises that she would be healed which made it all that more confusing at the time. However, since then, the whole thing has made me look at God in an even bigger light or way. It is kind of hard to explain, though.

I remember when I was in the 6th grade and Becky was in the 5th grade and my sister, Beth, started dating her brother, Mike Sollie. Beth said Mike had a little sister about my age and she thought we would really hit it off. They introduced us and the rest is history. We remained friends for her lifetime. Actually it was more like big sister/little sister. I always felt like she was my responsibility to look after and to try and set a good example for her. Sometimes I succeeded, other times, I didn't. I did succeed in getting her and Ken Clark (my cuz) together. That is one I am proud of. He was definitely the love of her life. Becky and I shared a lot of good times togerther and great memories. Too many over too many years to share here.

Anyway, today is a rainy day and I seem to be thinking about her and reflecting more on our time together. I remember after my first husband died, praying that no one else I knew would ever have to go through what we had been through. It just wasnt' meant to be. It is okay because I know one day, we wil be together again in the big beautiful beach in the heavens!!!!

Love you Becky and miss you deeply!!

Kim

HAPPY FRIDAY AND WEEKEND!!!!

Well, for two "retired" people, even we are ready for the weekend!! Woo hooo!!! Not sure why, it doesn't change our routine much! We did have a great start to our weekend with two visitors, Karen McLeod Parks and Clay Howell.

Karen and Clay are both originally from Dothan but were here in Auburn to see their kids and for Karen, to attend the funeral of her uncle. Clay came to surprise his son, Hap, and be here for his Fiji initiation last night. Kind of a special father/son time. We were glad to be a part of it in some small way. If you don't know Karen's son, Stewart Parks, you are one of the few! He is a very beloved Auburn student. He is an awesome young man. Karen and Kirby are celebrities for being his parents and I even get a little notoriety just because I know them all!!!! Living in Auburn is great, because we often get to be a part of moments like these.

Auburn is obviously about athletics (obviously recently :) ) but for us, living here has been so much more. We have been able to reconnect with so many high school and college friends as their children have followed the path to Auburn. We have been so honored that most don't seem to mind hanging out with us. It is so funny to see how much like their parents they are for the most part. The advantage of not having kids is we can tell all kinds of stories on their parents but can't have the deed returned!!! I promise, we use discretion--most of the time!!!!

Anyway, another "rambling" for the day. Visits from special friends just led to these thoughts today and once again reminded me how very blessed we are in the richness of friendship. Thanks y'all!!!!

Toomer's After the Game

AMAZING!!!! No other way to explain it! I think there were more people than the 2000 New Year's celebration. Spence and I parked in the parking lot across from Momma Goldberg's and walked the rest of the way. I am so glad we did. People were walking in masses, all moving towards Toomer's Corner, cheering all the way. A few trucks and cars drove by, blowing their horns to add to the celebration. War Eagles and hugs from perfect strangers or at least a "high five" were a part of the migration to The Corner. INCREDIBLE ATMOSPHERE!! It really is hard to explain what it was like. It was great to see students and community come together to celebrate.

I must also add, Jordan Lee is the AU HC Queen for the National Championship Year. How awesome for her! We will all probably be the only ones to remember but we are Sooo okay with that!!! She and Jeremy were celebrating too, but we didn't see them there.

It really feels good today to be a part of the Auburn Family. I so appreciated the class and praise for God both Chizik and Cam expressed and displayed in their post game interviews. God doesn't have favorites but we can do all things through him who strengthens us!!

Well. have a great day everyone. Enjoy the moment!!! I gotta go watch the highlights, AGAIN!!!!

Icy Day In Auburn BUT still National Championship Day!!!

We woke up this morning to ice all around in the trees, on the roof and on our cars. Much quieter with no traffic and we already have a fire in the fire place. Today is also the big day we have been waiting for, BCS National Championship. Spence randomly pulled out a t-shirt from his drawer and it was his Oregon shirt we bought several years ago when we were visiting there. Significance of this random act, we don't know but we assume it means we will kick there little duck quack feet or whatever ducks have!!!

For Cassie, Bee is inside and has had her morning treat. She is now asleep on her bed inside, sound asleep. We are dog sitting a friends dog--they went to the game so we are like the animal kingdom right now.

By the way, I am thinking about running another half marathon but this time with a friend in Sarasota. Any words of advice for me. She has been very convincing. I keep thinking 2 1/2 months to get ready!! Oh well, I can walk some of the way as well. I'm thinking go for it, beats sitting on the couch. Tennis and half marathons--gotta be a connection somewhere!!!

Have a safe day out there everyone!!

Kim

I Have No Idea What I am Doing!!

Well, this is my first blog and I really have nothing special to say tonight. I just want to have a blog and see what happens. My guess it will be interesting if I can come up with anything valuable to say. I am happily married to a great guy we all know and love as Spence. He puts up with me which is more than I ever expected anyone to be able to do!!!! I am a retired educator with most of my years spent being a high school counselor which, by the way, was never dull.

Hopefully, I will have something of interest to say at some point. Feel free to ask me questions. I am no longer a professional counselor but have a lot of experience that might be helpful in some situations. No promises though!!!

Well, I am going to go for tonight and see what happens! Thanks for reading!

Kim