Aging parents is something we don't talk about enough with each other, sharing our experiences. We all know it is coming and intellectually understand what may happen but it is not the same as experiencing it on a daily basis. Many of you have already been through aging parents or loss of a parent or are dealing with it now and have lots of wisdom to offer. Trust me, I would love to hear from you! I am far from an expert as I have only really just begun this journey of caring for an aging parent that is not in good health and will not get better, but wow, what an eye opener. So many emotions are involved and important decisions to be made. All of which are equally important. So, what have I learned so far, let's see if I can even put it into words.
First of all I have learned to remember all the things my parents have done for me all my life and sacrifices that they made on mine and my sister's behalf--they were numerous. Now, it is my turn to do the same in terms of my time and finances just has they did for me growing up. I have always heard "that time is coming" and I have seen my parents take care of their parents but it is not the same as experiencing it for yourself.
I have also learned that mental, emotional and physical exhaustion are a natural part of this process. It doesn't feel good by any means but, you do what you have to do and rest later. I am guessing my parents felt that along the way, too, when raising me. They didn't give up but hung in there. That is my job now with them. When the going gets tough, the tough better get going or something can go wrong quickly!
Thirdly, I have learned that no matter how hard you try, you can't be prepared for all the curves the illness of aging parents throw your way. I say this mainly for those who have not been through this scenario yet, to pay attention and give this a lot of thought before it happens. Are you prepared financially, do you know what your parents wishes are, are you and your siblings and other parent all on the same page about long-term care or even short-term care? If you don't know, then guess what, it is time to think and talk about it.
We need to talk about this more with each other and encourage our younger friends to pay attention as we go through it to help them better understand what they may face one day. You can never be totally prepared and you can't live in fear BUT you can gain as much knowledge as you can about the subject and have those family conversations. It isn't pretty, but yet a very real and natural part of life. I know I want to make it as easy on my parents as possible and still survive to tell the story. We all will survuve it, we aren't the first to have this experience and certainly will not be the last. The question becomes how can we survive this in our particular situation. No two situations will ever be the same but we can at least provide support to our friends as they go through this.
My guess is this is part one of my Aging Parents blogs. I am so thankful for good friends, their love concern and prayers. This is all in God's timing, we are just "managers" of that time with His guidance while we are here. I would love to hear from others about your experiences and any words of wisdon you have on this topic. Stay tuned!
